vinodnikhra.com

Vinod Nikhra: The thinker

Select a topic to view quotes about it from Dr. Vinod Nikhra's books and articles:

Doctors

Love Marriage and Women

Middle Age

God and Spirituality

Humanity and Friendship

Writers and Stories

Life

Dreams and Aspirations

Quotes from the book - Ageing slowly Living Longer

DOCTORS ( click here to go to top )

You know, doctors are half-actors. They think one way, say those things differently, and put a pretense through body language to reassure you and keep the hope alive.

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

A doctor leads a dichotomous life. He is transported daily from a world of suffering to a world where his loved ones belong. It may be more than once on most days. The dichotomy tunnels into a doctor’s psyche with a searing force. You belong to a world where there prevail misery and death; you live in a busy world, you act through the world where loved ones demand endearment and affection.

‘A tale of two spouses’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The world is full of uncertainties. A patient, who is supposed to take just 10 minutes, because of reasons purely clinical, ended up with half an hour; just think about such 3-4 patients. You, then, resort to emergency rationing of time, and something inevitable happens. Where is my time, yells the loved-one?

‘A tale of two spouses’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

I assure you that a physician is a good listener. Throughout the day, for that matter, throughout the life, he speaks less, listens more. For me this is the secret of good medical practice; of a good married life as well.

‘A tale of two spouses’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

It’s a small world, you know. Being in the same profession otherwise too we would have kept bumping into each other time to time.

From ‘Encounter of a fourth kind’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Physicians are like this. They are like cats, coming back home to rest and be fed. They shower you love in the morning, go away and are lost to you. They make promises like a gentleman and forget them like a conman.

From ‘Decent proposal’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

You have to forget your mundane worries while seeing the patients. For, a patient is like a blind man trying to cross the street i.e. overcoming the disease. Physician’s job is to help him in crossing the street. It is a serious job, but in the end the patient will be rewarded with restored vision and the doctor with the satisfaction a helping hand gets.

From ‘The cardiac park’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

‘It is an emotional catharsis, we medics involved in critical care often go through. It gives us a chance for introspection, and has a cleansing effect.’

From ‘Critical affairs’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

A failure in saving life leaves emptiness and vacuum. But the omnipotent life-force fills up it fast.

From ‘Critical affairs’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The numbness of failure has to go and we resurrect ourselves… Because the life should go on.

From ‘Critical affairs’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

‘Initially you see your profession as a means of earning livelihood, but later you grow into it. It becomes part of you. You are doing it because you like it. You are repaying the societal debt also. This is there with every vocation, perhaps a bit more when you are a doctor.’

From ’93, Banjara Hills’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The society calls us healers! Our lives more perilous than the ordinary ones.. We don’t weep, for we can’t. We have seen too many people weeping around, their losses being much more than ours.

From ‘The enigma called life’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

It amusing that doctors were fond of writing so many degrees, A.B.C., E.F.G. ..X.Y.Z., Then finishing the alphabet, he used to say, they resorted to Z.Y.X. etc.

From ’Doctor’s den’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

A doctor makes you relaxed and lets you talk your heart out..

‘A tale of two spouses’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Doctors are like this. Each one being a specimen of his kind. Like others they live out their ideology. But the Achilles’ Heal lies in human relationships. They act intimate according to the mood and time available. Especially the latter.

From ‘Laws of symbiosis’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

LOVE, MARRIAGE AND WOMEN ( click here to go to top )

The Rome was not built in a day; Columbus took some years to discover America. Getting to know a man or getting to understand him is no mean task. It is a lifetime endeavor; it is a lifetime effort.

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Passing through the daily-life we wear a mask, sometimes many masks at a time, screening the recognition of our true self from us, from others. You love a person, vow to lead the life together sharing all life events, but forget to take away the masks. Somewhere the fear lurks that if you show your tooth and nails the loved-one will shy away.

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Marriage unites you; it makes you inter-dependent and later independent as well.

From ‘Seventh sense’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

‘Love always wins in the end.’

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Where is love? It exists but in the world ethereal, and the Romeo-Juliet dialogues exist in my dreams. In reality, it is always hurried monologues in the living room or on phone, the latter more so.

‘A tale of two spouses’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Where is love? It exists but in the world ethereal, and the Romeo-Juliet dialogues exist in my dreams. In reality, it is always hurried monologues in the living room or on phone, the latter more so.

‘A tale of two spouses’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

‘Love is a golden gift from God. But love should not bind one. It should not refuse to accept one being oneself. Neither through it one should expect to change a loved-one in so many ways. We are different, that’s why fell in love. Let the difference persist. It is the boon, the cause de genre of our relationship. If only we could accept us being as we are.. Loving will be a fun. It will potent our energies, our resolve to make a niche in the world.’

From ‘Laws of symbiosis’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.



If love was life giving, if it had nourishing power; the lost love disabled you, it annihilated you. It was like a growing cancer. You could never get rid of it. It recurred, reappeared, something re-enhanced. There was no cure.

From ‘The doctor who loved me’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The words floated in air, caressed me. I remembered the old saying; two of us were parts of the same whole, long-separated had found the wholeness again.

From ‘Decent proposal’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

If I were a wax statue I would have melt and mingled with his!

From ‘Decent proposal’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

He found the SMS like somebody’s lost pet dog. It was chasing a wrong person in desperation.

From ‘The cardiac park’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Don’t praise me. Praise comes highly priced in present times.

From ‘The cardiac park’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

That the loved-ones come closer in old age. For they have now got presbycusis, they cannot listen from far; they develop presbiopia, they can not see from far.’

From ‘The cardiac park’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

It is 3 A’s as a woman you wants from the person you love; attention, affection and admiration.

From ‘Seventh sense’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

“An admirer is a joy forever”.

From ‘Seventh sense’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

“We are a scheming species”.

From ‘Seventh sense’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

We keep up with beautifying our bodies and activating our minds. But who knows what lies within? What lies behind the gallant faces and vibrant smiles, which make only the exterior?

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

A honeymoon is like flying with your companion with wings spread out. PHS was graduating to the fact that the dream was now over.

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The married life for a physician is the endless race. You are racing against time, and the wife is racing to get you.

‘A tale of two spouses’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Having a docile husband was an asset a generation back but now it was like having a tender heart, though you cherished it, you kept it hidden from the outer world.

From ‘Encounter of a fourth kind’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

A lady who is visiting a mall needs an attending husband, or God should grant her four hands, so that she can carry on honorably in the shopping world. ‘Frailty thy name is woman’, said Shakespeare. And the playwright was never more right. Walking far is unladylike. Carrying a weight apart from the purse tires a lady. As the things go, she has to bear a constant smile, flashing a wide grin time to time. She is not supposed to complain. Who will in the selfish society listen?

From ’It’s about life, honey’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

When would men understand women? In this world, men often looked for tangible things, for a woman emotional gains were invaluable..’

From ‘A long autumn’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

‘You have to endorse the fact that many times beauty and brain coexist.’

From ‘Point Two Crossing’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Why, we choose life over death each moment. We go back and forget our disappointment and setbacks; assembling the threadbare things build-up the nest again. We carry a scarred heart, broken many times; the pieces held in place by the salinated juice you call tears. For us it’s just the seawater. Ever-present and part of our being.’

From ‘The enigma called life’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

MIDDLE AGE ( click here to go to top )

A middle-aged man having an affair was no different from a spectator watching Monalisa. You talked, you smiled; and it was a no-touch event.

From ‘Encounter of a fourth kind’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The aging middle-aged men are unreliable beings. As they grow older they build a world separate from their family world. This world is formed by the unfulfilled and thwarted career ambitions, reset goals and redefined ways to attain total success so far denied. This world   may   include   the unfulfilled and many nascent desires. It’s a world whose access is blocked even to the most loved one. . It’s a world away from your world, away from the common family world.

From ‘Matters of heart’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Beware of the horizon that lightens up red before the sunrise. In any relationship we have to be good horizon watchers, so you just do not sleep through the times changes are taking place. Enjoy for this is the life you have been endowed with. But beware that the world is full of serpents.

From ‘Matters of heart’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

It was a rendezvous for younger people; people still slaved by matters of heart and so far not liberated to rationalism of indifference of the middle age. They were partially blind from love’s glare, their other senses numbed by the heavy dose of L factor.

From ‘The cardiac park’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

When young you were part of whole world. You belonged everywhere. As you grew older you tended to form smaller islands. Now there were some groups you belonged to. There were some away from your reach though because of the barricades you had erected yourself. The middle-aged people, like him, were bonded by rules and customs to follow. They did not laugh in public, at least needlessly. They did not meet but with a purpose. They did not talk in bane on phone either. Also, people of his age didn’t meet in places like Cardiac Park. They conducted their affairs a bit discretely.

From ‘The cardiac park’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

GOD AND SPIRITUALITY ( click here to go to top )

People talk about the importance of introspection. You learn so much about you introspecting when alone, in silence. It is a good tool to improve your-self upon which is no doubt a continuous process. But, what about analyzing the near and dear and loved ones in their absence? A person carries his energy field with him. The energy field influences you; but it bars you from seeing the things as they are. In its absence of you grow wise, your mind rationally dissects the things out and can form an analytical opinion.

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

God always listens to you. Though, He does not reply in words. Rather, He has His own modus operandi. He acts more like a physician who listens to a patient’s complaints and writes down a prescription.

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The God is omnipresent. He works in sublime but sure ways, like an anesthetist.

From ‘Seventh sense’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

I am a firm believer in the miraculous power of prayers. Prayers always give you strength. They heal you. They preserve you. They make you more humane. They also connect you to the Almighty albeit for a brief period. For, praying is like talking to the God. The religious prayer may seem monologue, but it is not.

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The dead lived in the past, we the living in the present, and nobody wished or needed to cross the Rubicon.

From ‘A ghost story’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The evolution over centuries has conditioned our mind not to see our dead loved ones. It is so easier to forget them. They went away from your world; they became cut off from your lives. You remembered them, longed for the time you cherished together. But, why should our loved-ones, who have been so close that you are hardly able to pass a day without them scare you when they come back to communicate?

From ‘A ghost story’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

These days, you did not just eat food; you socialized through it with your fellow beings. Homo sapiens, now socialized, is now a super-animal. The biological instinctive behavior is now largely replaced by social code of conduct.

From ‘Laws of symbiosis’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

You never solved problems by covering them. You have to be courageous, open the Pandora’s box and deal with the problems.

From ‘Laws of symbiosis’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The God tests you in strange ways, we and time being His slaves.

From ‘The doctor who loved me’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The grief makes a shell that covers you. You remain shutting out from the world. You grow your inner strength. In the beginning you ask God, question his judgement, then with passing time you just fall along.

From ‘The doctor who loved me’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Time gone, we’ve become wiser.

From ‘A long autumn’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

HUMANITY AND FRIENDSHIP ( click here to go to top )

‘In this material world, success defined you. It marked you special from the fellow human beings. It marked you apart from your colleagues, from your friends.’

From ‘A long autumn’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Why, as we grow we need fewer friends? Something you had during your youth silently dies later on. You relinquish many of your hobbies and interests. As you move along the corridors of time, you relinquish your friends as well. The friends, who were very close to you.. The people who were once necessary part of your life.. The overall emotional level dips, as we pass through the life. Is it part of normal development, or reflects a decline in the life force?

From ‘Point Two Crossing’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

It happens in friendship in general. At certain phase, the friend does not need you; then the whole thing is just over. This is the life.

From ‘Point Two Crossing’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

What wonderful a machine our brain is! The things long past do exist dormant in its recesses. Without our being aware, it maintains a logbook of things, event and persons. It enslaves the physical body, and controls and directs our social and intellectual spheres. It retains the past, yet makes you relevant in the present and glides you through the future. Who knows during childhood, what we would become as adults? What lies in store for us in future? Where we will be later, say, after ten years? The future events may be relevant, but what about things past, things and persons forgotten?

From ‘Point Two Crossing’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

WRITERS AND STORIES ( click here to go to top )

The world has many stories that remain un-written for want of words and Wordworths. After all what are the words? Only a vehicle to convey the feelings, to transport the state of one mind to a different one. What if you don’t find words, what if you are not good at weaving the web of words? You know, all of us carry many stories; unborn, aborted, and died in their infancy. Why, we choose life over death each moment. We go back and forget our disappointment and setbacks; assembling the threadbare things build-up the nest again. We carry a scarred heart, broken many times; the pieces held in place by the salinated juice you call tears. For us it’s just the seawater. Ever-present and part of our being.’

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

You know, the lost time never comes back. Though it may be lying close-by, coiled up like a serpent. The dream is over but it still exists in our minds and gives us solace and strength in difficult times. What is happiness? An illusion.. You see the crowd! I see people. Each person a bundle of his sorrows, his happiness and his efforts at trying to live the universal parody, the enigma called life.

From ‘The enigma called life’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

LIFE ( click here to go to top )

It’s the only life you have - they say. Yet, you lose it bit by bit. Entangled in the mirage of aspirations and dreams. Forgetting to enjoy right here in the moments you are living through. You neglect yourself; you fail to open your heart to your loved-ones. Walking side by side yet keeping soft emotions hidden from each other. Forgetting the universal fact that the time lost never comes back. With each passing moment there is evolving and reshaping the whole gamut of relationships, people coming close and distancing away.

From ’93, Banjara Hills’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Life is the spontaneity to live through small events and enjoy ordinary things.

From ’93, Banjara Hills’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

But my life is not completely mine. It’s part mine. The rest belongs to my family, my loved-ones and to the society at large.’

From ’93, Banjara Hills’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

We, the commons, do not need hourly adrenaline surges. We lead a cool life like the summer’s    morning    breeze.    Ours    kind   of excitements are simpler. Like seeing an infant smile, witnessing a bindas lover shying away. You take out the serenity from daily living; fill it up with heated excitement, soon becoming indifferent and tired audience. What a waste of life!

From ’To doctor with love’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

True, the world- exterior is a crowded place, but loneliness reins inside our souls. Walking hand in hand, yet we walk alone. Most of the time, at most of the   places, the soul remains   unscathed, untouched; all emotions lying dormant.

From ’It’s about life, honey’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

A fever that you suffer with may not disturb you much; but it devastates you when your child suffers.

From ’It’s about life, honey’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Like all dwellers of the city of dreams, I had the sea to share my grief and sadness and the beach to gain strength to bounce back to life. Like the city-people, I too submerged my loss to vast depth of the ocean and went back to live the life.’

From ‘The enigma called life’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

In this world, men often speak sweet words to cover awful secrets.

From ‘Doctor in love’ in “Doctor, doctor: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

‘Don’t promise things. You know, the promises mean nothing. One day you would forget the things. One day may be I won’t insist for them considering you busy. Or they will just lose the value because of other things that creep up with time.’

From ’To doctor with love’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

The men-folk is like this. They are unreliable like cat in hours-of-need. They just vanish when they should be present. But then come back, innocent and unaware of the havoc they had created by being away.

From ’Doctor’s den’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS ( click here to go to top )

When young, we dream of so many things. We envision, to create and to find a world of our desires, the dream world. The world where inhabit the loved-ones caring for each other, cocooned inside a romantic wall separating the outer world. A world, where a simple touch of hands conveys your inner-most feelings.. A world where speaking of your thoughts is not required, the loved one understands you, perceives your mind to the core.

From ’It’s about life, honey’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

But, as you grow and develop, you awaken yourself to the real world. You become accustomed to modus operandi of terra firma, the behavioral norms and role the society expects from you. With passing time you fall in patterns. It is at this juncture you lose your dreams. The profound loss will now reformat your life. The change is so enormous. Now, there is a daily wait in store for Cinderella; wait for return of her warlord. You live your life, he his. The common time spent together dries like parchment; the lacerated peelings scar your world. He is out there in the warring country, while you redecorate the house, you nourish and nurture the kids; you go out to amass eatables and goods for them. You manage your daily affairs without him – he appearing time to time like advertisements in a sop opera, briefly, unrelatedly and uselessly.

From ’It’s about life, honey’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

What do you do when the dream is over? You have seen it and enjoyed. The God was kind. He gave you chance to find happiness and serve people. Meanwhile, you made your life worthwhile. Now, you look back and ponder, feeling the satisfaction of having lived through it.

From ’93, Banjara Hills’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

But you need friends to grow up. This is more so true for teenagers. The pen-friendship was a safe way. You could stay what you were. There was no need of putting masks. You wrote what you felt to your pen-friend without any pretense. It was like talking to yourself. It was like untying the knots that appear as part of daily living. You got rid of them and resurrected yourself, and went back to living up the struggles for survival and growth still carrying the precious treasure of day-dreams. One day the treasure would help!

From ‘Point Two Crossing’ in “Doctor’s den: Intimate stories from doctors’ lives”.

Quotes from the book - Ageing Slowly Living Longer (click here to go to top)

HUMAN POTENTIAL

We are born with unlimited potential, most of which we fail to utilize. We grow to develop visions and dreams, which we may fail to realize.

In time we will diminish our life force and lose the vigor. Losing something, which we owned and took for granted, the eternal truth of impermanence of life dawns on us.

THE BEAUTIFUL   WORLD

It is a beautiful world. The inanimate wonders compete with those animate to amaze us. The daily rising sun and cool moonlight never fail to excite us. The chirping of birds tickles our mind. The early morning breeze enlivens your heart; the falling night calms it. Living is such joyful. The life awakens so many dreams.

THE ESSENCE OF LIFE

People do similar things for different reasons. In the same way, each of us lives the life for different reasons. Some look forward to amass wealth and fame. Some live for their loved-ones. There can be a long list of such reasons. But in the essence, we live because the life gives us joy. Primarily, we are because we live. Life gone, there is no world for you.

Meaning does not grant life, but life finds the meaning.

LIFE

life is never enough. The more you live, more you cherish. By living, you find your people and things. You make connections; you weave a world for you. A world, in which you want to live for forever. A child, a youth or an older adult, all have equal life to survive, and look forward to a better living. There need not exist any prejudice against those older in age. The life force need not be diluted at any age.

Everyone has a unique dream about his life carrying on a special notion about oneself.

As we mature we grow over the joy of sensual indulgence, realizing the folly of it. In due course of time we find better things that refurbish the meaning to life.

All through our life, the concept of joy changes. For a child a toy gives joy, for an adult it is something different. With maturity, we enjoy power; which now drives us.

MYTHOLOGY

The mythology thrives on dramatism and moral teachings.